I have not been sleeping well as of late. Even on nights when I sleep through the night (usually alcohol fueled and on the couch), I end up getting up way earlier than I would expect. At the same time, I have no motivation to get out of my actual bed. I guess I just have way too much on my mind. I need to get past some of the current issues I am having. I thought I had solved one of the major ones lately, but that has turned in to a new issue which I am none too happy about. I have been trying to at least keep a to do list, so I feel like maybe some days I am actually accomplishing something. This seems to be working to some level, but I notice more and more in red, which means I am not getting things done by the time I specify. The more this list builds, the more the stress builds, the less I sleep. I think maybe tonight's calm night will help out some. I did SOMETHING, but it wasn't drinking and wasn't sitting in front of the TV. I think the TV is my biggest enemy right now. I get home, turn it on and never leave it. I REALLY wish I had a freakin TiVo. It looks like maybe digital cable is going to be a reality in my neighborhood soon, which means I will be able to get a TiVo and then maybe I can change my TV viewing habits. That would be a good thing for me. I would rather spend 4 hours on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon catching up on a week's worth of TV rather than wasting every night finding something (anything most of the time) to watch. I think that woiuld help me concentrate better and get some motivation to get some stuff done while I am around the house. I think another thing which would help that would be some new music. I have not been able to expand my CD collection much over the last year because of a lack of funds and I think if I had some new stuff to listen to around the house I would more often. Also, since I do listen to music all day at work, Listening to some new music at home does not come in to play as much. I need to start turning the stereo on when I get home instead of the TV. I think this could help too. I also think if I was eating better, my body would feel better and that would help me as well. That has also been an issue due to cash concerns. The smoking is obviously the last big issue. I find myself more and more waking up at night and smoking. If I could quit cigarettes, it would help me out in so many ways. I seem to be getting better with the new cigarettes (that's a post I have been putting off), but still, I wake up and decide to smoke. This is an issue for me. I need to stop this. I never had this issue before. Ugh. The last problem, I don't want to go to sleep. I'm tired, but I never crawl in to bed, I flip through channel, find random shit on and start watching, or at least to some level. That's another habit I have to quit. I think if I started getting up earlier (like 6), I would be much better about this. Also, if I started getting in that early, I could leave at like 4 and be home earlier and be able to get more stuff done, which would remove stress, which would get me to bed earlier after making a good dinner, etc etc etc. OK, this turned in to a lot more of a rambling post than it was ever meant to be. I am going to go to sleep now, as I am tired, though my book will probably keep me up for another hour or two. Good night all 3 readers (or at least thats all I believe I have)


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This page contains a single entry by Skadz published on December 9, 2002 11:55 PM.

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